recognising the beloved/awakened awareness

by Brooke DiDonato

(In this blogpost, the Beloved can be substituted by “Awakened awareness”)

Recognising the Beloved refers to the skill of discernment.

It’s a moment by moment investigation of our direct experience to evaluate if we listen to the Beloved and organise our lives in accordance to Her (will).

Two aspects of discernment

First, a continuous orientation and attention towards Her, like a permanent prayer.

Don’t recall. Let go of what has passed.

Don’t imagine. Let go of what may come.

Don’t think. Let go of what is heppening now.

Don’t examine. Don’t try to figure anything out.

Don’t control. Don’t try to make anything happen.

Rest. Relax right now and rest in (the presence of) the Beloved. (Based on Tilopa)

Second, to evaluate what actions and thoughts wil lead us closer to Her, and what will alienate us from Her.

In truth, these two aspects are identical if we can see the universe as an expression of the Beloved. Every action and thought orients us towards or away from Her.

How to differentiate between what is the Beloved, and what isn’t?

House of the Beloved proposes a "negative" path, which means identifying and deconstructing everything that is not the Beloved. Assuming our mind's ideas about the Beloved are not the Beloved, our practices aim to see through the mind's constructions and the very act of constructing itself. This allows for a clear and direct experience of the Beloved. When our self-involvement—the essence of our mind's constructions—stops, we become available to listen (to Her voice).

To recognize the constructions of the mind, we must deepen the subtlety of our phenomenological perception (the felt depth of our lived reality). Through silent contemplation, prayer, and meditation, we strengthen our connection to the felt sense (our direct, pre-conceptual experience) and sharpen and refine our discernment.

The search for the Beloved is the search for what is changeless and timeless, both within and around us. It is the training of the mind’s gaze to see through the ever-changing universe and to discern its timeless and changeless core, recognizing it as an expression of the Beloved. Experiencing the divine both within and without allows us to transcend the identification with our sense of self and dissolve into oneness with the Beloved, not through effort, but by fully opening and surrendering (to Her grace).

Once we have felt the presence of the Beloved, this can become our anchor to discern what leads to Her and what alienates us from Her. Spiritual practice, then, becomes the intensification of our relationship with—and love for—the living Beloved. This continues until there is nothing but Her, as Rumi expressed: "Love has befriended me, so completely, it burned me to ashes and freed me." When all our constructions have disappeared, the boundaries between self and other, between inside and outside, dissolve, and we become intimate with all things.

Becoming an expression of the Beloved

Oneness with the Beloved, while a profound experience, is not the final step on our path. The next stage is to allow our living presence to become an expression and transmission of the Beloved in the world.

As part of the evening prayer at House of the Beloved affirms: "Without fear or preference, let it (the Beloved) break through, so that through my body and mind, through gratitude and devotion, a life (Her will) can be revealed."

Engaging with the world inevitably calls for the reappearance of certain useful constructions, including time, place, a sense of self, emotions, thoughts, and so on. The task, then, is to remain in unbroken oneness with the Beloved while participating in the world of appearances. The key is to avoid identifying with these constructions by recognizing them as insubstantial and empty, and to seek no fulfillment but in the unity with the Beloved.