"... If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also." (Matthew, 5:39)
Holding onto the concept of God as a benevolent father or mother will leave us bewildered and tossed about in the ocean of confusion, as our life experience is also full of suffering, unexpected pain, tension, and discomfort. Why would an omnipotent, benevolent father or mother not protect us and provide us with the security of a sheltered life?
Instead, what could happen if we see God as a dominatrix, and ourselves as subs (abbreviated from submission) in a BDSM dungeon?
A good dominatrix provides the perfect care and safety for a sub to completely abandon self-reliance and let go of autonomy and resistance. Using pleasure and pain alike, without avoiding discomfort, she delicately explores and expands limits, training subs in ever-deeper surrender to both pain and pleasure.
In return, as good subs, we completely surrender to the will of the dominatrix, trusting that the whole experience—all of it—will be transformative and beneficial. When in pain or discomfort, the sub leans in, relaxing and surrendering into trust in the dominatrix, without the need to make decisions, resist, or protect. Instead, we welcome and accept the pain as part of a purification process, being without preferences and with the same equanimity and joy, accepting whatever comes.
In the absence of resistance, both pain and bliss become equal enablers of vitality. Through deep surrender, both provide access to deeper shadows beyond perception and control, even touching the very first conditionings that make up the fabric of our being.
"The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences. When love and hate are both absent, everything becomes clear and undisguised. Make the smallest distinction, however, and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart."
-Third Chinese Patriarch of Zen, the Hsin Hsin Ming
Likewise, in our meditation or prayer, unconditional availability is paramount. Only by welcoming pleasure and discomfort alike can we silence and calm our minds and break through the cycle of reactivity (always getting more of what we like, less of what we dislike).
However, it is not sufficient to merely endure the discomfort. Only undifferentiated gratitude absolves us from our imaginary world. Even subtle (often unconscious) resistance to fear or pain can become projected outward into a myriad of reified constructions of mind. In meditation, I may find myself fighting against threatening or distracting thoughts and feelings, or in life, I may find myself on the battlefield between good and evil, feeling a necessity to join the army of consciousness against evil spirits, entities, or energies. All these are mere constructions of the mind, with no substantiality. They’re empty illusions.
Left completely alone, without interference by our mind to make something happen or prevent anything from happening, our awareness unravels by itself—self-arising, self-liberating. We relive all samskaras (past conditionings) one by one, until they are digested in the light of fully awakened awareness, like a procession of unprocessed pains (also referred to as karmic exhaustion or dharmadhatu exhaustion). When this process is complete, our awareness is purified, lucid, and stainless, like a crystal-clear pool of water. The biased lenses of perception fall away, and we are awake.
Our search for security and comfort interferes with this process of self-healing. Resisting reality as it is, only reinforces and reifies these illusory constructions of mind, leading to greater confusion and suffering.
To clarify this confusion, I propose these additional beatitudes:
Blessed are those who embrace pain and discomfort with gratitude, for they will cut through their illusions and still their minds.
Blessed are those who embrace social rejection, for they will seek truth instead of social approval.
Blessed are those who accept reality as it is without trying to change anything, for they will enter into timeless and changeless awareness.
May this be you.
"(…) je m’abandonne à toi. Fais de moi ce qu’il te plaira. Quoi que tu fasses, je te remercie. Je suis prêt à tout, j’accepte tout. (…) en toi je me confie, en tes mains, je mets mon esprit. Je te le donne, le cœur plein d’amour. Je n’ai qu’un désir : t’appartenir."
(Communauté de l'Emmanuel (J.-F. Léost)
Translation:
(…)I surrender myself to you. Do with me as you will. Whatever you do, I thank you. I am ready for everything, I accept everything. (…) In you, I place my trust; into your hands, I place my spirit. I give it to you with a heart full of love. I have but one desire: to belong to you.
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No need to let yourself be whipped away in the bdsm dungeon: we can provide you with a similar experience without risk of physical harm on your meditation cushion.
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