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attachment
repair

what is attachment?

Attachment is the emotional bond formed between the ages of approximately  12 and 20 months, based on the behavior of your parents or caregivers. It creates the blueprint for all your future connections: with others, yourself, and the world

what is insecure 
attachment?

We talk about insecure attachment when a relational pattern that used to be adaptive in the context of unpredictable or unreliable caregivers is continued into adulthood where it is no longer adaptive. 

what is the impact of insecure attachment?

Our attachment patterns determine how we communicate and connect with others. They shape the quality and longevity (or absence) of our romantic relationships, how we interact with friends, family, and colleagues, and how we feel about ourselves.

attachment patterns can change

you can acquire secure attachment even after a problematic youth

are you avoidant in relationships?

  • Are you constantly trying to maintain the "right" distance (not too close)?

  • Do you find it difficult to open up or be truly vulnerable with your partner or significant others?

  • Do you look for flaws in your partner or significant others?

  • Is the emotional intensity of connection sometimes overwhelming?

  • Do you avoid intimacy and closeness?

  • Do you have a positive image of yourself and a negative image of others?

  • Do you feel you don't need a relationship to be complete?

  • Do you want to avoid depending on others, and also avoid having others depend on you?

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are you anxious in relationships?

  • Are you constantly thinking about how to make your significant other happy?

  • Are you afraid of being abandoned?

  • Do you overthink your significant other's words and actions?

  • Do you find it difficult to trust your significant other?

  • Is your relationship your top priority, leaving you constantly alert to potential threats?

  • Do you cling to relationships for your happiness and to give meaning to your life?

  • Do you have a negative image of yourself and a positive image of others?

  • Are you worried that your partner is not as invested in the relationship as you are?

what is your attachment pattern? 

Would you like to analyse the results together and discuss how to transform your attachment pattern? Here you can book an individual session:

attachment patterns

Coming up: podcast about attachment repair
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our training

Who is it for?

Anyone interested in gaining a deeper understanding of themselves and their way of connecting with others and themselves.

What will it bring you?

  • Profound insight into yourself

  • Deep, fulfilling connections

  • Lasting relationships and friendships

  • Inner peace

  • A sense of safety

  • Self-control

  • Emotional regulation (improved ability to handle stress)

  • A general sense of well-being

Structure of the training

Introductory call

The journey begins with a short 15-minute introductory call. You can schedule your session by clicking here.

 

Attachment interview

An in-depth interview in which we explore your attachment patterns. This interview lasts between 45 and 90 minutes. You can schedule your session here.

Weekend 1:

May 2 & 3, from 9:30 AM to 4:30 PM

Preparation: psycho-education & embodied exercises

  • What are attachment patterns?

  • How do they influence who I am and how I perceive reality?

  • How can I repair insecure attachment patterns?

  • Which social and emotional skills are required for this?

This weekend is a combination of psycho-education (lecture and discussion) and exercises in self-inquiry and communication.

Weekend 2:

Friday, June 12 (8:00 PM) to Sunday, June 14 (5:00 PM)

Deep inquiry into your unconscious attachment dynamics

Sometimes you may have insight into your attachment patterns and yet fail to change them. This is often because there is a part of yourself you would rather not acknowledge (such as jealousy, destructive tendencies, or an unacceptable sexual desire), or perhaps a forgotten dream. If you cannot see and accept yourself in all honesty, the parts you deny can sometimes overwhelm you beyond your control. This is what we call a shadow.

A shadow prevents you from fully embodying your experience; it distracts you, creates emotional turmoil that feels impossible to navigate, and can pull you into the endless loop of unresolved dynamics with your parents.

The goal of this weekend is to bring these unconscious dynamics into awareness. By becoming conscious of them, they lose their grip on you and can be transformed into a constructive and integrated part of yourself.

 

Weekend 3:

September 12 & 13, from 9:30 AM to 4:30 PM

 

Integration and implementation

 

During this weekend, we practice connecting with others and work on the implementation and integration of your new insights. We do this through "authentic presence"—a form of self-inquiry in connection. You will learn:

  • To stay connected to your body and feelings while in connection with another.

  • To let yourself be seen and to articulate your experience clearly.

  • To attune to what is happening with the other person and understand your impact on them.

  • To express your desires and preferences.

In these exercises, you will learn meta-cognitive skills that allow you to integrate your new insights into your daily life.

trainers

Stijn Smeets has a PhD in psychology and is trained in Integrative Attachment Therapie (IAT). In addition, he's a meditation teacher, an artist-monk at House of the beloved. Since 2013 he guides adults and youngsters in finding themselves and their place in the world. His meditation teacher Daniel P. Brown -also co-creator of the IAT- spurred his interest in attachment repair as a necessity for personal liberation.

Jolanda Scherpenzeel is an educational psychologist, pedagogue, and behavioral analyst with over 25 years of experience in education and care. Trained in Integrative Attachment Therapy (Level 1), she believes that safe attachment, grounded in pedagogical sensitivity, is the foundation for learning and development. She is the mother of four children and brings both professional and personal insight into connection and relationships.

Cost and registration

€1597 (includes meals, excludes overnight accommodation)

You are registered once the funds have been transferred to IBAN: BE54 7370 7190 1897 (House of the Beloved vzw). It is also possible to pay in installments. In this case, you confirm your registration by paying a €500 deposit and sending us an email.

 

Location

House of the Beloved

upcoming events

  • info attachment repair/info hechtingsherstel
    info attachment repair/info hechtingsherstel
    Multiple Dates
    09 Feb 2026, 20:00 – 21:30
    09 Feb 2026, 20:00 – 21:30
    zoom
    In this online session, you’ll receive insight into attachment, attachment insecurity, and attachment repair. We’ll also explore short, guided exercises to help you activate and observe your own attachment patterns. There will be time for questions about our attachment repair training.
  • info attachment repair/info hechtingsherstel
    info attachment repair/info hechtingsherstel
    10 Feb 2026, 15:00 – 17:00
    10 Feb 2026, 15:00 – 17:00
    zoom
    In this online session, you’ll receive insight into attachment, attachment insecurity, and attachment repair. We’ll also explore short, guided exercises to help you activate and observe your own attachment patterns. There will be time for questions about our attachment repair training.
  • Info attachment repair/ hechtingsherstel
    Info attachment repair/ hechtingsherstel
    Multiple Dates
    19 Feb 2026, 19:30 – 21:30
    19 Feb 2026, 19:30 – 21:30
    zoom
    In this online session, you’ll receive insight into attachment, attachment insecurity, and attachment repair. We’ll also explore short, guided exercises to help you activate and observe your own attachment patterns. There will be time for questions about our attachment repair training.
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